Friday, 26 September 2014

Child Abuse

I was 10 Years old when a family friend's daughter came to stay with us during the holidays. We were about  the same age and she shared my room with me. One night whilst sleeping, I noticed someone touch me on my chest, I had no boobs then I was a little child, I let it slide as I assumed it was done by error, then I felt a hand and lips on my lips and I opened my eyes and found my little friend staring at me.

I jumped up and gave her a slap. The next day I refused to sit, speak or play with her. I became very hostile to her and wanted her out of our house. 

So at every opportunity I lashed at her, pinched her and became very agressive towards her. One day my elder sister caught me and I got spanked for being mean to our guest. I couldn't tell her anything, it was unheard of, I was a child, I was scared I would be told I made the story up, no one would believe me. More so she looked fragile and much more smaller than me. 

So I suffered the pain and zipped it. Now almost 30 Years later here I am speaking about it for the very first time.

She was a young girl herself, 'Am sure I was about a year older than her. All these years I have asked myself different questions about who or what got into her that night? If I allowed her would she have proceeded?

Did she watch it in the movies? Was she abused? Was she a victim of sexual abuse? Or was she born gay? 

If that was my daughter on that bed would she have told her off? Would she have told me her mother? Or you her father? 
I bet a lot of children would do what I did, and never speak up, I know a lot of children suffer sexual abuse by their own family members. 

We can't watch out kids 24 hours a day? We work, we have lives, we do us. We are human. But it's important to ensure we tell our kids that they can come to us at anytime for anything and we won't doubt them. 

Watch those uncles that come to the house and sit your kids on their laps. Not all the uncles have genuine intentions. 

Recently i was told by a friend how he was molested in secondary school by a senior in the boarding house. Please speak to your children, pray with them, talk with them and let them not be afraid of coming to talk to you. 

I honestly won't call my experience an abuse as it was attempted by a child and I beat the living day lights out of her. I honestly don't know what to call it, maybe child's play, the said family friend is now very happily married. 

Memories of that night still haunts me. 

Sexual abuse is real. Watch your little ones... 

NB: So my brother saw this write-up and he calls screaming on the phone, "Tope why didn't you tell me" I said to him! you were ten years older than me! I was the youngest child and had no one to talk to! You were all too old for me to talk to, more so I was scared. And he asked Tope who was she? And I replied never mind, I dealt with it then!